Director of Basketball Analytics. Must know Excel

When you hear about sports analytics in the news or when announcers talk about it during a game, it seems like really advanced stuff is going on behind the scenes. There must be huge computers chugging away at tons of data finding the best player for a team, the best defensive scheme against other teams, and how to get the most bang for the buck. There must be genius Billy Beane assistants for every team of every sport now. Right? Right?

But then you see a job listing for the Director of Basketball Analytics of the Brooklyn Nets and remember that sports analytics is still in its early stages.

The duties and responsibilities section sounds fine. The qualifications section, less so. You have to be good at Microsoft Office and Outlook, you have to be a well-balanced and sane person who doesn’t look like a bum, and you must be able to lift at least ten pounds.

Nice. That pretty much rules me out completely.